Selina was his world and his heart. At their wedding dinner, Alvin had tearfully broken down while giving his speech and declared her as his saviour from a dark fate that would have otherwise awaited him. He promised to be nothing but a loving and supportive husband to her in return for her faith in him.
He kept his promise. For a time. As her career advanced and she rose through the ranks within the multinational corporation where she worked, he willingly toned down his own work activities in favour of spending more time with their daughter May. He calculated that the financial cushion they had built was comfortable enough that he could venture into trading from home. This would give him flexibility as well.
Sweet, precious May, named for the month of her birth in the year after their wedding. Selina had been reluctant to have a second child and Alvin did not press her either. For him, deciding not to have more children was also an act of rebellion against the legacy his family had left him.
Parenting was tiring, but when May started going to kindergarten for full-day sessions, Alvin found himself with considerably more time on his hands. He found his thoughts frequently wandering in the realm of nostalgia. He considered returning to working full time at the family firm but decided against it. He wanted to maintain as far a distance as possible from his family.
It would ultimately be his undoing.
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Whether rich or poor, a man always had more than one woman in his life. Alvin often wondered why his grandfather was fond of saying that. Was he referring to himself, or was he justifying his son’s actions? Or perhaps the old man understood it as a curse all men would fall to. Alvin certainly had, like his father before him.
Alvin took comfort in the fact that Selina had not filed for an immediate divorce on the grounds of his adultery. Her decision to pursue an initial separation gave him hope that reconciliation was still possible. After moving out of their marital home, Alvin resolved to work towards restoring his relationship with Selina. He was contrite and determined to atone.
Towards proving his worth, Alvin continued to ferry May between school and home every day. He returned her to the house an hour or so before dinnertime. In the last few months of 2019, Selina had begun allowing him to stay on for dinner. Alvin hoped that it meant the she also felt that there was still something worth saving between them.
Cutting off ties with Brenda had been easy, a small mercy Alvin was thankful for. He had stopped seeing her from the moment Selina discovered their affair. But he had not cut off contact completely. He wondered if his father had felt the same guilt or whether he had been every bit as callous as his mother had suggested. Alvin met Brenda at the gym which he had started going to after dropping off May at kindergarten. Brief ‘hellos’ at the treadmills had progressed to post-workout chats over protein shakes, then coffee, lunch, and eventually, afternoon trysts at budget hotels. Alvin knew that he would always have feelings for Brenda. However, it was more important for him to focus on restoring the family he had. Unlike his father, he would not have his hand forced. He would retain control.
There had been no tears from Brenda, which had been a relief for Alvin. She had insisted on one final tryst for old time’s sake, and Alvin was happy to comply. Then it was over. Alvin was reassured that Brenda would not repeat the history his father had created with his own mistress.
Alvin did not see Brenda again until November 2019. He noticed her walking past the Starbucks where he was having afternoon coffee. A young boy of about two or three years old was with her. He had called out to her reflexively and almost regretted doing so. But through the awkward greetings, Alvin was introduced to Brenda’s son. She had just fetched Kevin from violin class and they were on their way to get groceries for dinner. Alvin complimented the boy for being so quiet and well-behaved. It was remarkable for a boy his age. With a wan smile on her face, Brenda said that he took after his father and said they had to rush off.
Letting them go, Alvin was glad that there seemed to be no hard feelings. He silently wished Brenda and her family all the best in life. She more than deserved it.
…to be continued
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